remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
