Who did Billy Mays play for?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
