Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So squirting runs in the family.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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