The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
