Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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