I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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