nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have post one night stand depression
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