My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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