Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
