Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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