so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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