where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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