She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's the barista slut.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
