I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
