Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
