...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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