Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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