Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
