clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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