True but thats because hes a fetus.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize