Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
