this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
