Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
