We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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