sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
