my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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