So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Did I show you my penis last night?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
