I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
