it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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