yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
