so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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