I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
