He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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