was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize