Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize