the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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