I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
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My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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