He is an equal opportunity slut.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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