So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
