We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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