I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
