just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
