so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She has the best kind of daddy issues
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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