Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
