theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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