Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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