sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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