so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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