I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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