i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize