I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The air taste purple.
Randomize
