i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
