i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
