no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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