How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
