Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
