Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
