i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
