he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
