I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
