I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
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all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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